Narcissist Tactics

When you are being manipulated it can very often be difficult to catch it in the heat of the moment. Most manipulation gets noticed in hindsight when you wake up alert at 3 am and berate yourself for being stupid and oblivious.

In our everyday life we have conditioning that has gone on since the day we were born. We had our parents and care givers telling us what is and what is not acceptable. Then we have teachers and society at large. So many ingrained rules and social etiquette to follow.

CNUT's can often depend on you being civilized to make their ploys work. Like sending you a greetings card or gift just so you have to contact them with a 'thank you'  or saying "good night' because it would be rude to not reply right? They may have treated you like crap all day and then force you to be polite to them.

I pardon you. 

It really is very petty. My ex 'Tanya' got irritated if I didn't say, "bless you" after she sneezed. The ridiculousness of it was very apparent during her allergy attacks.

The CNUT puts us into an inferior position with this little trick.

Anger is also something that is not acceptable in society. We all have it but it's frowned upon using even if there is a very good reason for it.

A CNUT will try to get an angry reaction from you because they'll know that you'll feel guilty for getting angry and will probably take all the blame. The CNUT also gets to tell the world about your anger issues. You'll get red faced and defensive about it thus looking guilty.

Ever have a CNUT puff themselves up and get in your face? Perhaps they block a doorway or any means to escape them and you have to fight the urge to not push past them. Or they might follow you from room to room until they can corner you. They'd like nothing better than for you to touch them so they can cry victim.

When a CNUT feels threatened they will often do a preemptive strike. They project all their issues and whatever they are in fear of appearing as and call you it instead. They might even stalk you or talk crap behind your back. In their minds this is them defending themselves to preserve their status.

The poor me tactic. Look at how the world treats me. These people are incompetent or out to get me. Nothing is ever their fault. They can often get mystery illnesses that no test can verify. Or there will be a major health scare for them which also confuses their doctors ... according to what the CNUT says of course. 

Water is wet and CNUT's lie. Even when they don't have to lie they will.

They also deflect and if you accuse them of something the topic will very quickly be turned onto you doing the deed or something else, "No, You!"  Even things from decades ago and before you ever met your CNUT can be used as ammo. It might have been a mistake you once did and you have beaten yourself up about it for years.

Back when you were sharing your fears and insecurities you thought they'd be kept safe with a trusted person. No wonder you never talk anymore. I'm sure they accuse you of that one too. 

They also call you things you are not. If you constantly wear yourself down looking after others and do something for yourself for once you might get called 'selfish.'  They may also minimize or belittle your feelings and so you end up thinking that your opinion does not matter or that it isn't important.

To guard yourself from CNUT's the best way to talk to them is to never show them your feelings. The Grey Rock Method is to take on the attributes of a boring rock.
To be emotionless, never taking their bait. This method is for when you 'have' to speak to a CNUT, perhaps you have children together or work with them. When you take all the fun away from the CNUT you lose your appeal to them.

Boring, bland, single word responses and even agreeing with them instead of getting defensive.

If you have to say more then make sure they know that 'their' feelings are NOT your feelings. "I'm sorry you feel that way but that is not how I feel."   

CNUT's can be highly intelligent and humorous people. Make jokes and entertain them until you can get away. However if you are well into the discard stage then even your best witty remarks won't even get a smirk.

Always always remember this, you can never trust a CNUT. Don't fool yourself. If you live in the hope that they'll change well they will change, they'll get even more worse.

Someone that has lied to you for years won't suddenly become trustworthy. They have shown what little respect they have for you so take that on board and believe it. 

If you are still not sure if someone is manipulating you then think how you feel around this person. Perhaps you feel more anxiety than normal or smaller as if you are always in their shadow.

The mind lies to us all the time with our various defense mechanisms but the body never lies. Pay attention to how you feel.